Patience is not my strong point!

Today marks the 6th week after my surgery.  I'm still on the recovery diet, which goes through 7 weeks.  So much has been happening since my last post, I get exhausted just thinking about it.  At one week after surgery, a beloved member passed away, so I prepared and participated in his funeral.  A few weeks later, another beloved member passed away, so I did the same for him.  I had to be there... for both of them.  I've had to learn, first hand, just how hard it is to ask for help, even when she's standing right in front of me offering it up. 

I wanted to be okay by now, but in the past week it almost feels as if I've been going backwards instead of progressing.  Last Sunday, I barely made it through worship, even sitting through most of it.  This week, I reluctantly accepted the help of a colleague who will be preaching and presiding over communion.  I will do what I can.  I keep hearing that I need to rest, but I'm still working partial days, teaching a mid week Lenten Study, and trying to participate as much as possible in the Synodical teams to which I belong.

At home, while I'm resting, the phone tends to ring a lot.  Most of the time it's a telemarketer, but sometimes it is someone who needs me.  How can I say no?

I really though I'd be good after two weeks, but now, after six weeks, I still get tired easily, sometimes weak and shaky... all a part of this major surgery recovery period.  But, as the title says, I'm not a patient person.  My stomach is about the size of an egg or a golf ball.  I can only it up to a 1/2 cup of solid food, three times each day.  And, I have to drink 64 oz of water each day, just not a 1/2 hour before meals, now an hour after meals.  Drinking is the most important, because dehydration can make me extra week as well.  Next, getting plenty of protein in my meals.  Right now that means eggs and flaky fish, and beans.

On a positive note, I'm a size or so down and I've lost a little over 40 pounds (including the 10 I had to lose before surgery).  There are some days that I gain a half a pound and I get depressed, then there are other days when a I loose a pound and a half, and I'm encouraged once again.

I thank you all for staying tuned to my journey and for your thoughts and prayers.
Pastor Deb Stein

On the Long and Winding Road to Recovery

For the last couple of weeks, I could eat very little that seemed normal.  First only liquids, then only mush stuff, but this week I began to be able to eat real food: a few green beans, a couple ounces of flaky fish, and a couple of teaspoons of mashed sweet potatoes.  I've been in heaven.  Unfortunately, I still get weak and shaky, which has begun to frustrate me. 

It's been 3 weeks and a day since my surgery, and I want to be able to do everything, but I just can't.  Last week, I had very little time to rest and recuperate as a member of my congregation passed away.  I'd gotten close to he and his wife, and I just couldn't leave his funeral to the pastor who was standing in, no matter how wonderful she it.  I put together the funeral from home, and met with the family (and my supply pastor) in my kitchen.  When it came to the funeral, I split the roles up between my supply, myself, and two assisting ministers.  The assisting ministers were also there to help or step in should I find myself getting faint or unable to proceed.  As it turned out, the funeral went well and the family was glad to have both of us there.

This week, I've been going to the office each day for four hours, no visitations or traveling.  I was pretty tired each evening, but I'm still trying to get enough walking in.  Like I said, it's been frustrating.  Tomorrow (Sunday) I have my first worship on my own (with assisting minister).  I pray that I am strong enough to get through to the end of the service, without having to sit down and let someone else continue.  Stay tuned.

On a positive note, I've lost 25 pounds since surgery, plus the 10 I had to lose beforehand, so 35 pounds down!!!  I still have a long way to go, weight-wise, and I need to start exercising, but I've decided to wait until my post op appointment this coming week on Thursday.  I wonder if he'll tell me that it's now okay to go to work?  I never asked.  I've always said, better to ask for forgiveness than permission.

Today, I find comfort in this text from Colossians 1:11-12  
May you be strengthened with all power, according to his glorious might, for all endurance and patience with joy, giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in light.

Thanks for following my blog
Pastor Deb